If you have the opportunity to visit Japan before you get married you should absolutely take advantage of it. Even if you have visited Japan previously alone, experiencing Japan again with her will be like seeing Japan with fresh eyes because you will see Japan that she knows and lives in. Just like visiting Hawaii is best with a local to show you around, the same holds true for visiting Japan.
Experiencing Japan with her will give you a front row seat into her lifestyle and personal history. She can take you to places where she grew up or where she used to frequent during her formative years. It’s an opportunity to know more about her and her stories. This is a great way to build closeness and strengthen your relationship. By doing this you will know first hand about the references she makes to places where she grew up because you have been there.
Even though Japan has been featured on almost every major travel show, daily life in Japan is something best experienced by being there. Simply taking you on the train she takes daily to work will give you an understanding of her day to day life. Something which would seem mundane to her, like a train ride to her office, may be fascinating to an American. When I visited Japan with my wife before we married, the sights and sounds of so many people hustling and bustling through a busy Tokyo train station yet still being courteous, orderly and polite was refreshing and gave me a better understanding of the Japanese culture.
Going to some of her favorite places is another great thing about visiting Japan with her. There will obviously be places that she enjoys going to that are also popular tourist attractions. You should by all means visit these places. However, one thing that is highly recommended is that you visit the places that she likes to go to regularly that are not in any tour book. Where does she like to go for a coffee? Does she have a favorite bookstore? Is there a park where she likes to go and just sit and think? A favorite place to take a walk? A place where she likes to unwind with friends? We all have our favorite places we go to get away from the daily grind even just for a moment. Having her show you her favorite places is a great way to understand her more and build a closer relationship.
Being in Japan with her will also give you an opportunity to possibly meet her coworkers, or if she is the owner of her business you will have a chance to meet her employees and see her company first hand. This is important for you because you will be able to know who the people are that she talks about when she explains stories to you about her job and also it will give you a chance to see the professional working side of her personality first hand. Our careers often take up a lot of our time and energy. To see first hand what her working life is like will give you a greater appreciation and insight into her life.
Aside from coworkers, you will also be able to meet her friends and family if the opportunity arises. It’s always a lot of fun to meet with friends at an izakaya and enjoy good food, drinks, conversation and laughs. Be ready to hear some great stories about her that only her friends can share, and also be prepared to be asked a lot of good natured questions! Japanese are very hospitable and friendly, they will most likely go out of their way to make sure you are having an enjoyable time.
Shared experiences together in Japan will be priceless for the both of you. The opportunity to build memories together in Japan is one that should not be missed. Some of the best memories I have with my wife prior to us getting married were going to places in Japan together. Even though she had already been to most of the places we visited, they became new experiences for her because now they were our experiences. These shared memories will forever be a part of our story.
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