How to help your Japanese girlfriend improve her English

         

In the film Love Actually there is a character played by actor Colin Firth who falls in love with his Portuguese housekeeper. He does not speak a word of Portuguese and she does not speak a word of English. Despite their inability to communicate they become attracted to each other. By the film’s end Firth’s character learns enough Portuguese to express his love for her and proposes marriage, and she happily accepts in broken English.

Some American men have concerns about dating a Japanese woman because they wonder whether or not she can speak English well enough for them to communicate. Fortunately, the majority of Japanese women on EM Club can speak, write and read in English. Aside from mandatory English language studies required by Japanese grade schools, many continued to study English at university, and many have traveled or lived abroad in English speaking countries. Although their English may not be perfect, you can rest assured your situation will not be as severe as the movie characters described above where they essentially started at ground zero.

When I married my Japanese wife I did not know any Japanese words or phrases. Fortunately, my wife studied English in Japan and also had lived and worked abroad. She could speak English, but she still wanted to improve her English skills and continues to do so daily. Much of what I have written here is based on our own experiences with this. There are some very easy things you can to do to build up her English language skills and her confidence.

Be supportive of her when she stumbles conversationally. Listen carefully to what she is saying and don’t be overly critical or harsh if she makes a mistake or says something you don’t understand. Simply tell her, “I’m sorry, I did not understand what you said. Can you say it again please?” She may get conscious or nervous but she will be happy to try again. Be patient with her and correct her English if she says it incorrectly. You may have to do this several times but be supportive and patient. She will be trying her best to learn as well because it will mean a lot to her to speak English better and she actually will value the opportunities to improve.

Speak more English together than Japanese. Some American men may already speak Japanese or know several Japanese words and phrases. This is great, but if you want to help her improve her English she will improve best by speaking more with you in English than in Japanese. Encourage her to keep trying and to keep speaking in English. Of course, that doesn’t mean not to use any of the Japanese phrases you’ve learned, please do! But if the goal is to improve her English skills the best way to do that is to speak in English regularly and often. Even if you are a fluent Japanese speaker, you should encourage her to speak in English if she wants to improve.

Don’t be shy about correcting her English. If the goal is to improve her English then you will need to correct her. Sometimes it’s hard to do this because we feel like it’s not nice, or we don’t want to hurt her feelings or maybe we get tired of doing it after a while. But keep at it because she will appreciate that you showed her the right way to say it. It’s not enough for you to be the only one who understands her if she says it incorrectly. Just because you understand her does not mean other people will understand what she is saying if it’s said wrong.

In previous blogs, I wrote about using Japanese movies and shows to help learn or improve your Japanese. The same can be done in reverse to help improve her English. Watching shows together can be fun and there will be more conversations to follow after watching something particularly interesting.

By living in Hawaii with you she will be using English daily and hearing it everyday wherever she goes. This immersion will help her improve quickly, but her biggest asset to improve her English will be you. By being supportive, listening, and correcting her English in a positive, encouraging way she will steadily improve. So enjoy your conversations together and keep on talking!

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