How Japanese celebrate their birthdays

Birthdays in the west are a big deal and cause to celebrate. At the bare minimum a traditional birthday celebration requires there be a cake with birthday candles, and a group of friends and family to gather around and sing the “happy birthday” song to the celebrant.  There are birthday gifts given and a happy joyous mood is shared by all to celebrate another trip around the sun for the birthday recipient.

Celebrating a birthday in Japan is a relatively new phenomena and only became popular after the second World War.  During the 1950s American popular culture became all the rage in Japan. Traditional Japanese culture did not celebrate birthdays.  In Japan, traditional culture focuses more on the collective or group rather than the individual and birthdays were seen as a private affair.

As such, traditionally the Japanese celebrated the passing of a year collectively, on New Year’s day.  The rationale behind this was that everyone becomes a year older on New Year’s day and thus the celebration would include everyone.  Traditional New Year’s day celebrations included the custom of giving children and teens New Year’s money.  This tradition still continues today.

Fast forward to the present and it is very common for Japanese to celebrate their birthdays.  It is common now to have a birthday cake and gifts. For children, birthday parties are very common.  They are no different than western style birthday parties. Childhood friends and classmates are invited and there is usually a birthday cake, food and birthday presents.  The kids play games and sing happy birthday, eat cake and ice cream and have a grand time.

Certain birthdays have more significance than others and are celebrated differently in different cultures.   For example, the tradition of a quinceanera is a huge celebration in Mexican culture when a girl celebrates her fifteenth birthday.   The tradition of a sweet sixteen is also a common huge birthday party in the west when a girl reaches the age of sixteen.  Both of these traditions usually entail a grand celebration at a hotel or banquet hall, extravagant dress, food, drink and music and dancing. In addition, a huge birthday cake for the many guests.

In Japan there are certain birthdays that are also celebrated in a special way.  At the ages of seven, five and three boys and girls celebrate these birthdays by dressing in kimonos and are taken to shrines to pray for good health and a long life.   Chitose ame or “thousand years candy” are given to the children as a wish for a thousand years of good health.

Another special birthday celebration in Japan occurs on “coming of age day.”  On this day, all who are becoming 20 years old celebrate their becoming an adult.  The celebration is held on the second Monday of January. Those who turned 20 before the following April 1st or who will reach 20 on or after the following April 2nd dress in kimonos or suits and go to the city office to be officially recognized as adults.  Following the ceremony they usually go out drinking with their friends because they are now legally considered adults and are now of legal drinking age.

Adults also celebrate their birthdays in Japan.  These celebrations are similar to western birthdays, but are not as elaborate.  Rather than huge extravagant birthday celebrations they usually consist of going out to dinner and drinks, a birthday cake and a simple exchange of gifts.

As far as couples are concerned, birthdays are celebrated privately. Usually, women will reserve the whole day or evening to celebrate with their partner. Gifts will be exchanged and there is usually a cake or dinner.

A bit of advice if you are new to having a Japanese girlfriend.  They will not make a big deal of their birthday and may not even show an interest in it. However, a word to the wise, do not take this as a free pass not to celebrate. She will be disappointed if you do not remember her birthday. A birthday card or cake will go a long way. An over the top expensive gift is not required.  She will appreciate it very much that you took the time and effort to recognize and appreciate her special day.  

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