Your Japanese wife may want to visit Japan once a year

            
         Many Japanese wives who are happily married to their American husbands want to visit Japan at least once a year. For many Japanese wives to visit is very important because although they have made homes in the United States, their cultural and family ties to Japan are still a significant part of their life--and as her husband--they will become an important part of your life as well.

         The majority of American men have no problem with their wife keeping in touch with her Japanese roots and many enjoy going with their wives to Japan to visit and enjoy Japan together. However, some American men might find the idea of their Japanese wife visiting Japan once a year a bit worrisome. Some husbands might misunderstand why their wife wants to go back to Japan once a year and may feel that their wife is unhappy with the life they have together in America, or they might feel insecure that their wife may not return after going to Japan.

         This is a conversation that you should definitely have with your Japanese bride to be, particularly if you are against or unsure about the idea of her going to Japan once a year. There are practical concerns that should be discussed. For instance, traveling to Japan once a year can be expensive and finances may not allow it. It may be less expensive if she goes alone but if you want to accompany her and if you have children it can be quite costly. It is helpful to discuss things before marriage and not after marriage. Like most things, “where there’s a will there’s a way” and solutions can be arrived at by discussing options openly. But if you flat out do not like the idea, then it would be best to find that out prior to tying the knot. 

         For myself, when my wife and I were married we discussed our finances and set a plan for when would be the appropriate time for us to travel back to Japan. We even set aside a separate savings account just for the purpose of putting aside money to make these annual trips. I love going to Japan with her because I enjoy Japanese culture, the cities, the food and just being there. It was always a pleasure for me to spend time with her mother and with her close family and friends. I enjoy experiencing everyday life in Japan, as well as being a tourist sightseeing or relaxing at a mountain ryokan. 

         Another issue that may come up is one of trust. This is a harder issue to address than finances because it deals with how strong the emotional bond is between the two of you, your insecurities, how much you both trust and respect one another, and your emotional maturity. If early in the relationship you discuss this issue and your intimate relationship style is strongly against her visiting Japan alone--than its best that you make it clear early on because the two of you might not be a compatible match for marriage.

         If you plan on having children, you should know it is common for Japanese wives in an international marriage to take their children to Japan for the summer. It is a wonderful experience for them to learn Japanese culture, visit their relatives, and practice Japanese language. Another great benefit is that your kids can enroll in school during the summer in Japan and it is free. This is an experience that they can only have in Japan. Many international marriage kids really enjoy their time in Japanese schools because they make new friends and get to interact with kids their age. 

         If you are dating a Japanese woman and you think that she might be “the one” make sure the two of you talk about how you feel about this issue because it is important. You both should know where you stand on this before saying, “I do.”

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