There was a time when it was a given that a wife would stay home to care for the kids and household while their husbands went to work. Today this is not always the case. From a financial standpoint most couples find it easier to have a double income in today’s economy. Professionally, both men and women are finding their careers take most of their time and many women find great personal satisfaction in their work lives.
The question as to whether you want a wife that works of stays home is one that arises more often when a couple is planning on having children. This is particularly true when the child is still in its preschool years. If it is financially feasible to have your wife stay home to raise the children many couples would prefer that situation rather than have a stranger raise their kids.
But before you and your wife come to this point in your relationship, the discussion over whether you want a stay at home wife or a working wife is a useful conversation to have. For many couples it will depend on practical reasons in terms of income. For other couples it will come down to personal values in regard to work and family.
Many women today have highly successful professional lives that they worked hard to achieve. It is not something that they may want to let go of so easily. Along those lines, many men today also want a woman who is working and independent. It is difficult for some men to relate to women who are not also working or have a life of their own. For many men a woman who is a
go getter and capable in her career is an attractive and interesting woman.
The decision is one the two of you need to make together. It should be something that the both of you discuss rather than an ultimatum. If she is truly going to be unhappy not engaging in her career you need to take her feelings into consideration. On the other hand, you may be the type who wants her to work and may have a different feeling if she is the one who wants to stay at home. Again, it is a discussion that the two of you can share. What it really comes down to is what is necessary for you and your spouse to lead a happy, fulfilling and satisfying life. For some staying home to care for you and the home is what is most important. For others, her career and family are both equally important for her personal growth and happiness.
The advantage of a working spouse is that there will be a second income, there is a break in the monotony of the day to day by going to work, she will have the chance for more social interaction. The advantages of having a stay at home spouse is that she can pursue personal interests on her own time, raise the kids if you have them, she can take care of the home while you are at work and she can devote all her time to family responsibilities. If you both are lucky enough to not have to work and live happily retired lives together in Hawaii, my hat is off to you! I think that would be a dream come true for most people!
For some women being a stay at home spouse would be ideal, for others not so much. The bottom line is discuss what will make both of you happy, respect each other’s choices and go from there.
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