Using simple Japanese phrases to build a closer connection

There are some simple words and phrases in Japanese that are very useful to know because they come up all the time and even though you may never become thoroughly fluent in Japanese they are a great way to build rapport with her.

The purpose of learning some of these words and phrases is not to become a conversational level Japanese speaker, it is to use them as a means to develop a closer connection with each other. These simple phrases are a great way to break the ice and will often lead to deeper conversations and humor. All of this is useful in getting to know one another better. So let’s get started!

If you are meeting in the morning you may say, “Ohayo gozaimasu” (Good morning). If it is in the afternoon, you will want to say, “Konnichi wa” (Hello) which is used after the morning hours but not in the evening. If you are meeting her in the evening the proper greeting will be, “Konbanwa” (Good evening).

    

My grandma used to tell me that politeness goes a long way and she was right. In Japan you will always hear “Arigato gozaimasu” (Thank you) or the shorter “Arigato” (Thanks). Knowing when to use which will depend on your familiarity with the person or the situation. “Dou Itashimashite” means “You’re welcome.” Another good polite word to know is “Dozo.” (Please/After you).

Let’s imagine a scenario only using these few words. You and her have decided to meet over dinner. It is a lovely evening. You meet her at the restaurant and with a smile on your face greet her with a friendly, “Konbanwa.”

As the receptionist escorts the two of you to your table, you being a gentleman allow her to enter before you with a polite, “Dozo.” What a great first impression you have just made with just those two simple expressions!

It is well known that Japanese enjoy good food and there are some expressions that come in handy during eating. Before a meal Japanese say, “Itadakimas” which is like a short grace before eating that expresses thanks for the meal you are about to eat. Often, but not always, you will see this expression said with a short bow of the head to the food with the hands in a prayer position.

During the meal, if your food tastes delicious, don’t hesitate to express yourself with a hearty exclamation of, “Oishi!” (Delicious!) and if you want to make a toast raise your glass and say “Kanpai!” (Cheers!). These are happy expressions of enjoyment and will bring a smile to both of you. When the meal is finished you can say “Gochiso sama.” which is a way of expressing gratefulness for the meal you just ate.

Obviously, the two of you will be making conversation during the meal in English most of the time but you can see how just interjecting these few words into the evening offer a simple way of connecting with one another.

Here are some other words and phrases that are useful to know:

“Sumisen.” (Excuse me.)

“Genki desu ka?” (How are you doing?)

“Genki des.” (I’m fine.)

“Honto?” (Really?)

“Onaka suita!” (I’m hungry!)

“Onaka ippai!” (I’m full!”)

“Sugoi!” (Wonderful! / How great!/ Awesome!)

“Gomen nasai” (I’m sorry.)

“Hai.” (Yes.)

“Iye.” (No.)

“Yokatta.” (I’m glad.)

“Oyasumi.” (Goodnight)

“Matane.” (See you later/Talk later).

“Kirei” or “Suteki” (You look beautiful/pretty.)

In a prior blog I discussed using Netflix to explore Japanese culture and how it's a useful tool if you are interested in learning some Japanese phrases. You will hear the proper pronunciation and see how the phrases are used in context, plus you can read the English translations in the subtitles. Hopefully, there will come that special day when you and her will look into each other’s eyes and tell one another, “Aishiteru.” (I love you). 

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