Thursday, January 31, 2019

How to connect with your Japanese girlfriend in email conversations


         The best way to connect in an email conversation is to simply be sincere and express your interest in getting to know more about her. Be positive and do not be overly dramatic. Keep your communication light and cheerful. Tell her simply that you would like to start email conversations and that it would be fun to get to know more about each other. This is an example of an opening email, “Hi Mariko! My name is James Smith. I was happy to get your email and I think it would be fun to get to know you. I like your profile picture, you have a great smile! Hope to hear back from you soon. James”

         This email shows James is interested, he’s a cheerful guy, and is open to speaking to her. It is a simple introduction for her to write back to James. The compliment on her smile is a nice touch. It’s not an over the top or rude compliment. It is just right for an opening introduction. Waiting for her response may be a bit nerve wracking. She may respond immediately, or in a few days or --be prepared--not all all. That happens in real life dates and on e-dating sites too. Don’t take it harshly. Pick yourself up and try again. If she doesn’t respond right away simple follow ups are best. Something like, “Ohayo gozaimas! Good morning! I’m on my way to work and just wanted to say hello. Have a great day! James” Surprisingly, these little types of messages spark interest and often get a response.

         Just a few “housekeeping” tips here before we go on. Do write clearly and don’t use a lot of slang. Chances are she may not fully understand American slang and may become uncomfortable trying to draft a response to you which means she probably won’t. Be on your best behaviour. Be polite and be a gentleman. It does not mean you need to sound uptight or stuffy. It does mean don’t be rude or offensive. Where you might think that you are being funny, it might not be translated that way. Save it for later when you know more about her.
         Now then, how to keep the emails going once the initial responses have been made on both sides? Here is where you will need to be persistent and steer the conversation. The key is to keep the messages short but with enough information to encourage follow up questions and further conversation. Again keep it light, fun, and simple. You may be wondering, “how do I keep it light and fun?” This may sound strange, but use smiley face emojis, rainbows, hearts, acronyms (LOL, ROFLOL) all that stuff goes a long way in electronic conversations. Remember, Japanese invented emojis in the first place so use them! Tell her about yourself and your interests and the things you value and care about. Find out those same things about her. Be authentic and have fun in this process. Sometimes keeping a routine to your emails is good, for instance if emailing before going to work or leaving messages for each other before going to bed at night is a good routine for both of you start doing that. Many couples find themselves looking forward to the morning or evening exchange. During the day send her a quick emoji text or greeting once and awhile, she will
appreciate to know you are thinking about her.

         At some point you will want to talk to each other using Facetime or Skype. Don’t feel like you need to wait a long time to suggest this. Sometimes a Japanese woman will be shy to be the first one to ask. If you feel that it would be a good time to ask to talk just do it. It might be hard to communicate at first but you will get the hang of it. You may be self-conscious of your ability to communicate in Japanese and she may be self-conscious about her ability to communicate in English, but that too is part of the fun in an international relationship. 

         Enjoy the process and before long you may find yourselves discussing travel plans and dates for when you can actually physically meet each other. Like so many EM Club couples before you, a simple email led to a happy marriage. Aloha!

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