How do Japanese women feel about men who were previously divorced?

There was a time in Japan when a divorce was strongly looked down upon. For a Japanese to have a divorce meant failing at marriage and also was something to be feared because of the perceived bad image that would result from others knowing that the couple was unable to succeed at  marriage.

Japanese traditions treat promises and commitments to accomplish any goal as sacred.  It is no different for a marriage commitment. If a person is unsuccessful at having a successful marriage they were considered a failure at marriage.  Failure in the Japanese culture is often difficult to bear and can cause a loss of face to occur. These views were much more common in the past but are not so widespread in today’s world.

For the majority of Japanese today the reality is that divorce is no longer seen as an unspeakable event, but an acceptable part of modern life.  Divorce rates in Japan are still lower than in the United States, but divorces are more commonplace and accepted in modern Japanese society today than in the past.

So how to Japanese women view a man who has previously been divorced It really depends on that woman’s view of divorce. Does she still adhere to the traditional Japanese conservative view that divorce is unacceptable and that a divorced person is not a good marriage prospect? Or is she more accepting of the modern reality that divorces can and do happen to anyone and that it is better to get a divorce if you are truly incompatible than to stay in a marriage for the rest of your life and be miserable?  More and more Japanese today understand the latter viewpoint.

If a man has been previously divorced some women may suspect that perhaps the man is not marriage material, however for the majority of woman it depends on a number of factors.

For instance, if a man was divorced once it is usually seen by a woman as a first marriage that was for whatever reason a mistake and it was best for it to end and no real harm was done.

  However if a man has been divorced multiple times it may raise a red flag to a potential spouse.   The reason being is that the perception that is given when a man has been divorced multiple times is that the man cannot keep a commitment or has some undesirable personality trait that these prior spouses all could not live with, hence the marriages ended in divorce.  

Is this always an accurate perception? It depends.  If a man falls into this category he should just be honest with himself and with his potential future spouse and explain to her all the factors that lead to the multiple divorces and allow her to decide for herself whether or not this time it will be different with her.  Honesty is the best policy as the old saying goes. If she feels it is not going to work out, then at least you have the satisfaction of knowing you were honest with her.

Is being a divorcee a definite negative to a Japanese woman? No.  Again it depends on the particular woman’s point of view on how she sees divorce and your particular set of circumstances.

For the majority of women, for a man to have been divorced previously is not an automatic deal breaker. If you have been divorced before you should not feel that being divorced in any way disqualifies you from being an eligible marriage partner to a Japanese woman.

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